Ode to the Stupid Machine called the Computer

Oh! How I loathe thee,
And thy incompetent ways.
You slowness is,
Driving me into a craze.

What I have I done to deserve this,
This, inexcusable mistreatment?

How could a box of metal
be such an inconvenience?
And at the same time
Hold so many wondrous things?

You have never liked me.
This I know is true.
For you never worked for me,
But for everyone else you did.

So here's the deal
O scrap of mindless metal
Do what I want,
What you were made to do,
Work for me now!
Or else....

I'll I throw into the sea
For the fishes to devour
(Although you're inorganic
So this is impossible
However, I still will)

I'll Shoot you with a gun,
That I'll some how acquire.
If not a real one,
at least a fake,
So I'll be satisfied.

I'll stick you full of gunpowder,
And light you with a fuse,
And blow you up to smithereens
So tiny they'll never be found...
EVER!!!!

I'll throw you off a fifty story building
And watch with glee as you crash
And never again will you taunt me,
And I will finally win!!!

So that's the deal
Got it?
Good
'Cause what's gonna happen
Is that understood?
One more push until I've had it!
And then you'll be destroyed!!!
Humans are superior,
A battle YOU'LL never win!

The only problem that remains
Is....
Where is your replacement?